Uncensored Memoirs Of A Fab Funny Freaky Fat Girl

Author: Smillee Sims
Publisher: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
ISBN: 9781544102542
Size: 21.21 MB
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"(Uncensored) memoirs of a fab, funny, freaky, fat girl is without a doubt raunchy and risque. It's autobiographical, and a piece of me I've never been comfortable sharing until now. Being that this is the second edition, my life's journey has been updated since the first book released in 2016. This book is not meant for the faint of heart or the easily offended." --from the back cover

Seducing The Boys Club

Author: Nina DiSesa
Publisher: Ballantine Books
ISBN: 0345504550
Size: 62.58 MB
Format: PDF, Kindle
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Fact #1: Forty years after the feminist revolution, fewer than 2 percent of Fortune 1000 CEOs are women. Fact #2: The playing field is not level. Fact #3: You need to get over this. From the woman who became chairman of the flagship office of the largest advertising agency network in the world comes a wry reality check on how to get ahead and thrive in the testosterone-driven business arena. Nina DiSesa is a master communicator, a ceiling crasher, and one of the most successful women in the corporate world. She is also a big-time realist who has figured out that S&M–seduction and manipulation–is the secret to winning over (and surpassing) the big guys. In Seducing the Boys Club, DiSesa shows that you can, in fact, leave your male colleagues in the dust–but not by following the rules you learned in business school. By playing the roles of den mother, fraternity brother, little sister, and hard-nosed boss, DiSesa navigated the choppy, macho-minded waters of the workplace. All the “bad boys” in her life–and there are many–have provided a wealth of devilishly amusing stories and cautionary tales that DiSesa is only too happy to pass on. Ah, revenge can be sweet, but the truth is that she came to love those boys as much as they love her–which is the whole point. DiSesa asserts that women need to meld their feminine characteristics (nurturing, compassion, listening) with the traits of their male counterparts (competitiveness, decisiveness, combativeness) to expand their professional horizons. In Seducing the Boys Club, DiSesa shares her practical, outrageous, and even controversial maxims for making it, including: • Learn to appreciate men. Men like women who like them. • Remember that women are biologically wired to succeed. • If you want to make a name for yourself, find a mess and fix it. A secure and comfortable job only holds you back. • Don’t assume that men never listen. They listen like a dog does. • Don’t be a quiet achiever. • Act brave and you will look brave. • Screw the rules. Make up your own. Whether dead-on funny or deadly serious, DiSesa is always on her game, always on message, and absolutely on target as she arms women with the can-do confidence and no-compromises attitude they need to climb as high as their ambition can carry them–while keeping their standards impeccable and their integrity intact. Not for women only, this book should be read by men, too . . . though it won’t give them any defense against a woman who can truly seduce a boys club! From the Hardcover edition.

I Am Ozzy

Author: Ozzy Osbourne
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
ISBN: 9780446573139
Size: 69.62 MB
Format: PDF, ePub
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"They've said some crazy things about me over the years. I mean, okay: 'He bit the head off a bat.' Yes. 'He bit the head off a dove.' Yes. But then you hear things like, 'Ozzy went to the show last night, but he wouldn't perform until he'd killed fifteen puppies . . .' Now me, kill fifteen puppies? I love puppies. I've got eighteen of the f**king things at home. I've killed a few cows in my time, mind you. And the chickens. I shot the chickens in my house that night. It haunts me, all this crazy stuff. Every day of my life has been an event. I took lethal combinations of booze and drugs for thirty f**king years. I survived a direct hit by a plane, suicidal overdoses, STDs. I've been accused of attempted murder. Then I almost died while riding over a bump on a quad bike at f**king two miles per hour. People ask me how come I'm still alive, and I don't know what to say. When I was growing up, if you'd have put me up against a wall with the other kids from my street and asked me which one of us was gonna make it to the age of sixty, which one of us would end up with five kids and four grandkids and houses in Buckinghamshire and Beverly Hills, I wouldn't have put money on me, no f**king way. But here I am: ready to tell my story, in my own words, for the first time. A lot of it ain't gonna be pretty. I've done some bad things in my time. I've always been drawn to the dark side, me. But I ain't the devil. I'm just John Osbourne: a working-class kid from Aston, who quit his job in the factory and went looking for a good time."

No One Would Listen

Author: Harry Markopolos
Publisher: John Wiley & Sons
ISBN: 9780470625767
Size: 53.52 MB
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Harry Markopolos and his team of financial sleuths discuss first-hand how they cracked the Madoff Ponzi scheme No One Would Listen is the thrilling story of how the Harry Markopolos, a little-known number cruncher from a Boston equity derivatives firm, and his investigative team uncovered Bernie Madoff's scam years before it made headlines, and how they desperately tried to warn the government, the industry, and the financial press. Page by page, Markopolos details his pursuit of the greatest financial criminal in history, and reveals the massive fraud, governmental incompetence, and criminal collusion that has changed thousands of lives forever-as well as the world's financial system. The only book to tell the story of Madoff's scam and the SEC's failings by those who saw both first hand Describes how Madoff was enabled by investors and fiduciaries alike Discusses how the SEC missed the red flags raised by Markopolos Despite repeated written and verbal warnings to the SEC by Harry Markopolos, Bernie Madoff was allowed to continue his operations. No One Would Listen paints a vivid portrait of Markopolos and his determined team of financial sleuths, and what impact Madoff's scam will have on financial markets and regulation for decades to come.

A Short History Of Nearly Everything

Author: Bill Bryson
Publisher: Anchor Canada
ISBN: 0385674503
Size: 39.20 MB
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One of the world’s most beloved and bestselling writers takes his ultimate journey -- into the most intriguing and intractable questions that science seeks to answer. In A Walk in the Woods, Bill Bryson trekked the Appalachian Trail -- well, most of it. In In A Sunburned Country, he confronted some of the most lethal wildlife Australia has to offer. Now, in his biggest book, he confronts his greatest challenge: to understand -- and, if possible, answer -- the oldest, biggest questions we have posed about the universe and ourselves. Taking as territory everything from the Big Bang to the rise of civilization, Bryson seeks to understand how we got from there being nothing at all to there being us. To that end, he has attached himself to a host of the world’s most advanced (and often obsessed) archaeologists, anthropologists, and mathematicians, travelling to their offices, laboratories, and field camps. He has read (or tried to read) their books, pestered them with questions, apprenticed himself to their powerful minds. A Short History of Nearly Everything is the record of this quest, and it is a sometimes profound, sometimes funny, and always supremely clear and entertaining adventure in the realms of human knowledge, as only Bill Bryson can render it. Science has never been more involving or entertaining. From the Hardcover edition.

In Real Life

Author: Nev Schulman
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
ISBN: 1455584282
Size: 26.60 MB
Format: PDF
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From the host of MTV's #1 show Catfish comes the definitive guide about how to connect with people authentically in today's increasingly digital world. IN REAL LIFE: Love, Lies & Identity in the Digital Age As the host of the wildly popular TV series Catfish which investigates online relationships to determine whether they are based on truth or fiction (spoiler: it's almost always fiction). Nev has become the Dr. Drew of online relationships. His clout in this area springs from his own experience with a deceptive online romance, about which he made a critically acclaimed 2010 documentary (also called Catfish). In that film Nev coined the term "catfish" to refer to someone who creates a false online persona to reel someone into a romantic relationship. The meme spread rapidly. Now Nev brings his expertise to the page, sharing insider secrets about: -what motivates catfish -why people fall for catfish -how you can avoid being deceived -rules for dating -- both online and off -how to connect authentically with others over the internet -how to turn an online relationship into a real-life relationship ...and much, much more. Peppered throughout with Nev's personal stories, this book delves deeply into the complexities of online identity. Nev shows us how our digital lives are affecting our real lives, and provides essential advice about how we should all be living and loving in the era of social media.

Tales Of The Madman Underground

Author: John Barnes
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 9781101081938
Size: 20.34 MB
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Wednesday, September 5, 1973: The first day of Karl Shoemaker's senior year in stifling Lightsburg, Ohio. For years, Karl's been part of what he calls "the Madman Underground" - a group of kids forced (for no apparent reason) to attend group therapy during school hours. Karl has decided that senior year is going to be different. He is going to get out of the Madman Underground for good. He is going to act - and be - Normal. But Normal, of course, is relative. Karl has five after-school jobs, one dead father, one seriously unhinged drunk mother . . . and a huge attitude. Welcome to a gritty, uncensored rollercoaster ride, narrated by the singular Karl Shoemaker.

Fat Girl

Author: Judith Moore
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1101213248
Size: 57.25 MB
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A Top Ten Nonfiction Book of 2005 (Entertainment Weekly) For any woman who has ever had a love/hate relationship with food and with how she looks; for anyone who has knowingly or unconsciously used food to try to fill the hole in his heart or soothe the craggy edges of his psyche, Fat Girl is a brilliantly rendered, angst-filled coming-of-age story of gain and loss. From the lush descriptions of food that call to mind the writings of M.F.K. Fisher at her finest, to the heartbreaking accounts of Moore’s deep longing for family and a sense of belonging and love, Fat Girl stuns and shocks, saddens and tickles. “Searingly honest without affectation… Moore emerged from her hellish upbringing as a kind of softer Diane Arbus, wielding pen instead of camera.”—The Seattle Times “Frank, often funny—intelligent and entertaining.”—People (starred review) “God, I love this book. It is wise, funny, painful, revealing, and profoundly honest.”—Anne Lamott “Judith Moore grabs the reader by the collar, and shakes up our notion of life in the fat lane.”—David Sedaris “Stark… lyrical, and often funny, Judith Moore ambushes you on the very first page, and in short order has lifted you up and broken your heart.”—Newsweek “A slap-in-the-face of a book—courageous, heartbreaking, fascinating, and darkly funny.”—Augusten Burroughs From the Trade Paperback edition.

Let S Pretend This Never Happened

Author: Jenny Lawson
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1101573082
Size: 28.68 MB
Format: PDF, ePub
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The #1 New York Times bestselling (mostly true) memoir from the hilarious author of Furiously Happy. “Gaspingly funny and wonderfully inappropriate.”—O, The Oprah Magazine When Jenny Lawson was little, all she ever wanted was to fit in. That dream was cut short by her fantastically unbalanced father and a morbidly eccentric childhood. It did, however, open up an opportunity for Lawson to find the humor in the strange shame-spiral that is her life, and we are all the better for it. In the irreverent Let’s Pretend This Never Happened, Lawson’s long-suffering husband and sweet daughter help her uncover the surprising discovery that the most terribly human moments—the ones we want to pretend never happened—are the very same moments that make us the people we are today. For every intellectual misfit who thought they were the only ones to think the things that Lawson dares to say out loud, this is a poignant and hysterical look at the dark, disturbing, yet wonderful moments of our lives. Readers Guide Inside